Oh man, this is such a bummer for anyone cool left in New York City: New York City isn’t cool anymore. Beyoncé and Jay-Z are moving to Los Angeles, and while the gravitational pull of their enormous reserves of cool definitely could singlehandedly throw the entire cool balance of the US out of whack, that’s not what happened here. What happened is that New York isn’t cool anymore and Los Angeles is still pretty cool.
“Yeah I’m out that Brooklyn, now I’m down in Tribeca, right next to DeNiro, but I’ll be ‘hood forever,” Jay-Z once rapped about New York. Now that he and his wife Beyoncé and their insanely cool daughter Blue Ivy have moved to Los Angeles, who is left to rep New York City in verse and otherwise? Literally no one except Taylor Swift, and even Taylor Swift knows she’s not cool, that’s why she tries so hard. Would Beyoncé ever go out with her cat on her arm? No. That’s ridiculous. Beyoncé is cool.